I Rise

                                                                                                                                                   May 26, 2024

Rebirth 101

Enter in Faith.





Dear Today,



You did a big one. Don't know how to feel about  it. We were on an up and down road. Don't know which way to go. Keep going in circles. But today I find myself sitting in the room/office trying to figure out my next move. I think i'm thinking too much. Normally I have the answers but this time I don't. I was scared of coming back to God. I was. I thought because of what I was doing and who I was doing it with he would kinda leave me. Honesty, I was scared of what he was going to say. I thought I was going to get punished. I lost everything in this process. My cars. My money. My mind with what little bit I had left . But I felt like I lost my soul for a while. Like I was just here with no sense of purpose. You know everything knows my name but they still go by the names they gave me. What about the name God gave me? I'm still trying to see if I have a spiritual name. At least that's what I heard that we all have a spiritual name or a name that only God knows us by in spirit. I find spirit stuff interesting. But I have to say I had my share on the dark side. I'm good. When I say I have stories for days … I have a story for days. 2017-now is one heck of a story. A long one at that. But i promise you if you think this book is long just wait because this is life long. So I guess I should go ahead and introduce myself. Hi, my name is Ania Davette McNair. Daughter of Antoinette Regina Simpson McNair & David McNair. But most importantly a child of the most high God. King of kings. Lord of lords. You know this may sound inappropriate but here I am sitting in my room and I'm thinking back to a time when I was young and just being the curious little thing I am. I found a tv show called “Sex and the City”. When I say that was my show… that was my show. I have to say I was like in the 6th or 7th grade. Well we know i was in middle school. I took on a big liking to the show because the characters on the show have somewhat similar personalities or hobbies I enjoy doing. Now look, we all can compare some point in our lives in this show. You have a group of friends or known associates that you may talk to or link up here or there. Time to time. Now I feel like you have the “dreamer”, “chaser”, “giver”, “taker”. What role do we play? I really loved Carrie in the show. She was a writer, looking for love. Had terrible experiences but it's just this one guy…? Right “Mr. Big” we know him right? That tall, big chocolate man. That smells good with his stuff! Okay! I may have gotten ahead of myself but the point I'm trying to make is that we all have that one person that one person we want so bad but we cant have. Yes, that’s me. Right now. ( black face). I get the feeling of when you can know someone for so long and ya'll kickin it. Always laid back type joints. Ya'll “friends” but not “friends’ but “FRIENDS” if you catch my drift ( side eye). Anyway you finally have that one special evening and it seems so perfect. So RIGHT! But then so wrong. Have you been so caught up in the moment, you got yourself caught up in something? Now you are stuck. BULL-CRAP! I have said other words worse than that but let's keep it kid friendly ( wink). I feel like I got off track so much. I'm giving all my problems already lol. All I'm saying is I'm ready for a change of the narrative. No more going backwards. No more of repeating the same patterns. Leaving the past in the past and living and embracing every moment. In PEACE. In LOVE. in LIVE. in INTEGRITY. Without PRIDE. But with my GOD on my side. Changing this broken heart into a beautiful piece of art. 






“Today I start my story off with love. I recognize that I have the power within me. Great who he is, that is within me. Want to know his name? Take this journey  with me and find & see. That what you were already looking for… is already here. 

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